Things you don't see everyday

There are days that I walk into the ER and it is a complete nuthouse. Other days it is so quiet you are wishing for something to happen.

Yesterday was one of the nuthouse days. It went from being a nuthouse, to quiet, to a nuthouse again throughout the course of the day. But there is one case that stands out for me.... It was something that **I** certainly don't see everyday.

I started my day with coffee in hand, and getting the run down on the patients in the department from the girl I was relieving. When we got to the final patient, I almost spit my coffee out. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

It seems that a young lady had "fallen" and landed on her vibrator. Said vibrator was now lodged in her bum. So, she did what you do when you have a vibrator stuck in your bum.... she came to the emergency room.

What made this case so much better (other than her instance that she had fallen on her vibrator) was the x-rays.

The doctor who ordered the x-rays had asked for a couple of views of the pelvis. With the first, the x-ray was taken of this poor girl straight on, as if she was standing in front of the x-ray machine. The vibrator in this case was barely seen, just a dot. The second was a side view, as if she were turned 90 degrees from the x-ray machine. This shot clearly showed the vibrator lodged in her lower intestines.

What makes this a funny story you say? Well, this poor girl was hysterical about her story. She kept telling us that she had fallen on her vibrator. There is no way this is possible. The girl ended up needed surgery to have the vibrator removed, and I am assured that she will make a full recovery.

Next time, I think she may take the advice of her surgeon.... if you want to "fall" on your vibrator, make sure you don't put anything else in your bum afterwards....

ER Fun awaits you at your local hospital

Did you know that most people who come to the hospital emergency room are really sick, or hurt? Ya, that's what I thought. You knew that. But what I bet you didn't know is that a majority of the people that we see in the ER aren't really sick or hurt. Sometimes, they THINK they are really sick, when in reality, they have a cold. Or the flu.

So I worked a fun shift on Monday in the ER. 12 hours from 7am to 7pm. I don't think I stopped moving for more than 5 minutes in the entire shift. And it's days like that, where all hell can break loose, and it's stupid busy, and you question your own sanity for working in the emergency department, that I absolutely LOVE.

We had an eldery patient come into the department complaining that his back hurt. About an hour later he coded. That back pain he was feeling? It was because he had a ruptured aneurysm in his belly. And you know what? We saved him. We brought him back from deaths door and got him breathing again, and were all ready to rush him to the OR when his family came in and said that he wouldn't want that, and it was time to let him go. That kinda sucked. No, it really sucked. But, in all of this, there is a funny story that I just had to share.

So when the patient coded, I had to rush over and start doing chest compressions. This means that I am straddling the patient, on the gurney and doing the chest compressions. You know what? there is no graceful way to get off a patient that you are straddling. You basically fall off to one side and hope that one of your co-workers catches you before you hit the floor and cause another emergency. So there I am, doing chest compressions, and getting tired. It's been 3 minutes of non-stop chest compressions. It's tiring work. So a nurse is going to switch off with me. And what happens? I fall off the gurney. Thankfully I landed on my hip and ass, but still, it hurt and I have the bruise to prove it hurt. I ended up getting out of the way, limping back to my desk and laughing. Cause when there is that kind of stress, and you fall, there is nothing else to do but laugh. Afterwards, the doctors and nurses checked on me, making sure that I wasn't seriously hurt (which I wasn't) and one of my co-workers says to me "well, if you didn't have such a big ass, you would have been way more hurt" I think everyone was stunned. I just laughed and said "yep, it's the first time my ass has saved me, instead of me saving my ass" We all laughed and went back to work.

It's days like that, stories like that, that encourage me to keep going back to work in the ER. Yes, I have a bruise on my hip that aches like crazy, but I also get to know that I helped save someone's life. And I won't lie, I had a big glass of wine in the tub when I got home on Monday night. I'm pretty sure it was prescribed by one of the doctors..... lol.

Getting back to life

On Monday morning my mum lost her fight with Cancer. We knew that this day was coming, but it didn't make it any easier. She was my biggest supporter for most of my life, surpassed only by my husband, and only then on my wedding day. 

I took a few days off work and have been puttering around the house for 3 days. On Monday, hubby stayed home from work with me and took care of me. My parents live a 5 hour plane ride away, and when my stepdad called with the news I immediately told him that I would be there on the next plane. His response was that it wasn't needed. My family isn't religious, and my mum didn't want a service. She wanted to be cremated and her ashes spread on her Uncle's farm. My step dad also told me that he hadn't called me in the days leading up to her passing as per her wishes. This is not what I wanted. I wanted to be there, with my parents when my mum took her last breath, but, while I may not like her wishes, they were HER wishes, and I have to respect that. 

After my few days off, I am looking forward to getting back to work, and to life. I love my mum, and I will miss her every single day of the rest of my life, however, I know that she would not want me to dwell and mope and be continuously sad. 

So I am getting back to life. And you can be sure that I will have some more awesome stories to share about working in the ER and the other centres I work at!

Days like today

Sometimes there is nothing anyone can say or do that will make it better. Sometimes, on days like today, I have to dig deep from within myself to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I love you today and will love you every day for the rest of my life.

Today, I take the time to say goodbye to the first woman I loved. My friend, my parent, my family. I love you mum, and I will miss you every day.

Another day... Another reason to stay inside

So I went to work today. I know that this is not a big shocker, as I tend to go to work almost every single day. The difference with today was that I was going to job #3, the one worksite that I don't get to go to as often as I'd like, and with some of the best group of people to work with you could ever imagine. Only today? None of those fabulous co-workers were there. Co-worker #1 had called in sick, co-worker #2 was on leave, and co-worker #3 was on vacation. So instead of having a rocking good day, filled with laughter and smiles, and people who really get me and enjoy my warped sense of humour, I had no one to laugh with. No one to complain to, and no one to have lunch with. I almost felt like I had been returned to high school. You know the days when all your friends got to ditch, but your parents weren't cool enough to let you ditch, so you had to go and walk the halls, all alone all day? Ya, it kinda felt like that. But I get to go back tomorrow, and I know tht co-worker #1 will be back for sure! So bring it on Tuesday, I am ready for you!

Round 1 goes to me dumb booking clerk

So maybe I don't have the most glamorous job ever, but it does present me with a ton of fun stories that I thought I would share.

Some background? I work 3 jobs. I am a wife, mother, friend, co-worker, employee and general witch with a capital B most days. But sometimes, just sometimes, other people worm their way into what I like to call my "bubble". My bubble is a sacred place. On good days, my kid, my husband and my best friend are allowed to live in my bubble. Most people annoy the hell outta me just for their sheer stupidity, but sometimes, they surprise me. Today was one of those days.

I guess from the title of this blog you can gather that I sometimes work in the ER. The ER I sometimes work in is the second busiest Emergency Room in the area that I live in. That's job #1. I am a casual employee at this hospital, and I don't just work in the ER, but throughout the entire hospital. Job #2 is casual again, but this time it's for an out-patient clinic for patients suffering from Cancer. Job #3 is also casual, and is also for an out-patient clinic for patients with Cancer, but in a different city than job #2. All 3 jobs equal abut full time work, which means I can pay my bills, feed my family, etc. Hubby also works full time in case you care. Still with me? Great.

So today I was at job #2. A doctor had requested that a test be done on a patient at a specific hospital in a very specific time frame. Like the good worker bee that I am, I filled out the required forms, indicated the date I wanted, checked the computer to ensure I couldn't use one of our designated slots from said specific hospital and when I couldn't find a spot within the very specific time frame the doctor asked for, I faxed said required form over to the hospital. 

Fast forward 2 hours. I get the fax back with a big note on it saying to use one of our designated spots. So instead of faxing back and forth with she who shall henceforth be called dumb booking clerk, I picked up the phone and called her. First, dumb booking clerk tells me I haven't filled in the form correctly. Nope, I double checked that already. Second, she tells me I have to use one of our slots. Can't do that I said. There are no open slots in the time frame that the doctor wants the test done in. Dumb booking clerk (DBC) then proceeds to tell me that it therefore can't be done. Can't be done? Are you kidding me? This is a test to determine if a patients CANCER has progressed. And you're telling me it can't be done? 

So I did what all good worker bees do. I checked with the doctor to see if we could have the test run at another hospital. Nope. Patient is elderly, lives nearest to the hospital we requested in the first place, and must be done in the very specific time frame as requested. So I placed another call. This time, I bypassed DBC all together and went straight to the head of the department. 5 minutes later, test was booked. I was assured that DBC was wrong, and most likely just being lazy and not wanting to look for another slot for us. 

I am back at job #2 again tomorrow, and fully expect to have a fun filled voicemail from DBC asking why I went above her to get this booked. I'll tell you the same thing I will tell her. Because I don't like stupid people in my bubble.